“Lightening Up With Jan”
Resident Jan Marshall is a Humorologist, award-winning author, and humor columnist for adults and aspirational books for children.
EQUAL SHMEQUAL and A SEASONAL DISORDER
Men, dear men. They are so naïve. They are slowly but surely being conned into believing that we are all equals. It is absurd.
It is imperative that men understand that they are not like women, no matter how much they would like to be. The difference can be dramatic. This is not meant to be judgmental. Merely an observation.
FACT: Men borrow their gal’s’ cuticle scissors to cut the hair in their nose. That is considered all right. When the same gal uses her sweetie’s razor on their legs, the men get hysterical.
FACT: Women are well informed in many areas and will offer to share their knowledge whenever necessary and — often when it is not.
Men of a certain age care generally about sports, business or women with bodies like Jessica Rabbit.
If any other conversation is brought up, they begin to snore.
FACT: We encourage our men to communicate with us. They encourage us to get laryngitis. (“Bella, sleep with the windows open. It’s good for you.”)
OBSERVATION: It is not impossible for a man to accomplish the task of being equal to women. There are probably some jobs that they might do as well. And if so, they absolutely should be paid as well, too.
UNFORTUNATE TRUTH: There is a congenital difference between us, though.
It is the hormone factor, not a reflection on character, but simply the burden of being male.
YES! Yearly, they experience “that time of the year”.
Symptoms include yelling, screaming, and bursting into tears. The crying is the saddest to witness. I have seen it happen in the best of families, including my own.
That is why I am considerate and loving during that difficult time.
I recognize that it is a part of maleness.
Yup! It happens every time their football team is defeated.
The anguish continues during each instant replay or recap and is intensified if I accidentally mention the losing score.
Therefore, I believe women should not flaunt their natural equilibrium at this time.
Instead, each in her own way should exhibit love and affection during her man’s “seasonal.”
Do Remember,
Men do get teary.
So when they do get teary, Try a little tenderness.🎶🧑🍼
P.S. Next week be sure to check out my column when I will submit an easy solution to this yearly disorder👍
Jan Marshall