“Lightening Up With Jan”
Resident Jan Marshall is a Humorologist, award-winning author, and humor columnist for adults and aspirational books for children.
DON’T BE A LOUSE TO YOUR SPOUSE By Jan Marshall
A recent news clip stated Londoners ask for divorce for the flimsiest of reasons.
A woman sued her husband as he insisted that she dress in Klingon costumes and speak in that language particularly during romantic interludes.
I mean really, doesn’t everyone?
Another said his wife maliciously served him Tuna, his least favorite meal and he wanted out.
That reminded me when as a 20-year-old bride and novice cook I recall preparing my first Tuna salad.
Since lemon was part of the ingredients and I did not have any lemons, I added lemon extract; lots of it. But that made it too tart.
So I added sugar.
That made it too sweet.
So I added vinegar.
When he arrived home I told my darling husband I wasn’t sure it was very good.
His last words to me before his lips congealed into the form of a guppy’s mouth were
“My sweet darling, don’t be silly. What could you possibly do to tuna fish?”
Ultimately his mouth de puckered and since love will override most calamities even seafood slipups, in a short time we had three children leading to several grandchildren and even one great grandson.
Julia Child may have had an earlier learning curve.
Not that I compare myself to Julia in any way except maybe in looks, but I ultimately did become a gourmet cook with fresh lemons in my repertoire, though now since I rarely cook and if I do it is for one, I often invite Trader Joe and we delightfully and deliciously defrost together.
If not, I am so lucky because I can order luscious food from Heritage Pointe’s own dining room which is then sweetly delivered to me.
Never tuna though.
Ah, what a life! 💃🏾
The End
Jan Marshall