No move is easy. As an older adult, this can be an even more sensitive topic as assisted living and memory care services become the next step. Discussing a potential move with your parents can be challenging and emotional — for both them and you. Thoughtfully preparing how to talk to your parents about assisted living can make these conversations smoother.
This blog will cover how to start a difficult conversation, how to talk to your parents about assisted living, and how to control your emotions.
How to start a difficult conversation
Preparing for your difficult conversation can make all the difference. Think ahead about what you’d like to discuss, what could upset your parent and what you’d like to leave the conversation with.
From the start of your conversation do your best to make it a safe space to talk. Let your parent know you will listen to their thoughts and wishes and reaffirm to them that you care about them and want what is best for them and their health.
Be prepared to listen — think of the phrase, “seek first to understand and then to be understood.” Keep in mind their feelings and have empathy from the start of the conversation. Make it clear they are heard and their opinions and feelings matter.
How to talk to your parent about assisted living
Before you talk to your parent about assisting living, research senior living community options to bring to the table. You should be aware of the types of senior living offerings and the level of care provided, as well as what your parent may need. Heritage Pointe offers assisted living and memory care services.
Memory care is for older adults who are suffering from Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia, while assisted living communities offer nursing assistance and personal care as needed. Talk to your parent about both options, their concerns and what they would like in a senior living community.
When discussing assisted living for the first time, reassure your parent that a decision does not need to be made immediately. Approach the conversation with openness, encouraging your loved one to do the same, and work to understand their wishes.
How to control your emotions during a difficult conversation
Navigating difficult conversations can be especially challenging when your emotions are heightened. These conversations are sure to bring about a variety of feelings and reminding yourself of that can be helpful.
Here are some tips for controlling your emotions during difficult conversations:
- Deep breathing is shown to help calm us down when we feel anxious. Deep breaths signal to the brain to calm down and relax. Throughout your conversation, be cognizant to breathe deeply.
- Exercising emotional choice may be a helpful tool. Naming your emotions can help you manage them. By identifying what you are feeling, and acknowledging they are natural feelings anyone in the situation would have, you may find peace. During your conversation, if you feel an emotion arise, try reminding yourself why you are feeling that emotion, and that it’s okay to be emotional during these conversations.
- Taking breaks may be helpful if your conversation is not productive. If you and your parent have spoken your minds, it is okay to stop the conversation and decide to discuss again later. Embrace the flexibility to make decisions after you both get to think about your options.
Your parent will likely also be emotional. Do your best to comfort them as you both navigate this difficult conversation and think about what it would be like to be in their shoes.
Heritage Pointe is here to help
Our team is here to help you prepare for these tough questions about our assisted living and memory care communities. Contact us for more information, or to connect with a trusted staff member.